The Legend of Madness
by Quintaso
Summary: A series of humorous 'skits' sequel to Zelda Mini Madness. Please enjoy the interactions between the characters and the reveal of their true identities and intentions.
1. The Legendary Heroes

_Legend foretells of many heroes wearing green, fighting to protect the world from the darkest of evils. They slay their enemies mercilessly, battling to defend the innocent. They are chosen by the Goddesses, they are the wielders of the great Master Sword, they are..._

"Ah, who be the fairest of _all_ the Links?" Before awaiting his answer T.P. Link declared himself. "Of course it is me! I was the first to the beautifully crafted with the amazing graphics!"

W.W. Link raised his hand in protest but the sudden dark look on T.P. Link's expression made him withdraw in fear. Many of the Links rolled their eyes as T.P. Link continued to gaze at himself in the full-length mirror.

"You know, I wonder where O.o.T. Link went? I haven't seen him for a couple of years," M.M. Link mentioned.

"Fear not, my brothers!" Everybody's heads snapped towards the door as a 3D O.o.T. Link stepped into the room.

"What the?!" T.P. Link was horrified at the sudden appearance of his rival. "What happened to you?!"

"You can't be O.o.T. Link! Your design looks way too good!" W.W. Link said, while everyone else nodded their heads in agreement.

"Nope, I am the original! Don't even question me," the 3D O.o.T. Link assured them. "I just...went through some changes ever since the Nintendo 3DS."

"Hey, why does your sword have bloodstains on it?" M.M. Link asked, looking closely at the sword's hilt.

"No reason!" the 3D Link quickly said, shuffling away from the curious gaze.

"I wonder where that horrible smell is coming from?" Saria said.

"I think it's coming from Link's treehouse!" A fellow Kokiri replied, covering her nose from the horried stench.

When the two Kokiri children climbed the ladder and entered the home, they opened the closet and a body fell out onto the floor. The two girls screamed in fear.

"Someone murdered O.o.T. Link!" Saria cried out.

"Who would do such a thing!"

"I bet Ganondorf has something to do with this!"

O.o.T. Ganondorf choked on his glass of wine after taking a sip. Zant quickly patted the Gerudo's back until he stopped coughing.

"Are you all right?" Vaati asked from across the bar table.

"For some reason I feel like somebody is blaming me for something I never did," he replied. "And the wierd part is it's something I was trying to do in the first place."

"Anyways, I am the original O.o.T. Link, so stop asking stupid questions!"

"Hey, is this the meeting with all of the Links?" Everybody looked back at the doorway again, seeing another figure clad in green enter the room.

"Whoa, we don't allow cosplayers into here. Especially when it's a _girl_ dressing up as one of us!" T.P. Link said defensively.

"Well, I'm new here..." S.S. Link mumbled.

"Holy hell! You're the new guy?!" M.M. Link shouted.

"There's a new guy?" 3D O.o.T. Link said.

"That's a guy?!" T.P. asked, pointing at the Skyward Sword Link.

"Oh god! It's horrifying!" S.T. Link shrieked.

"Oh shut up!" W.W. Link snapped at the Spirit Tracks Link. "No one likes your game!"

S.S. Link blushed at T.P. Link's accusation. "Please! I am a boy! Believe me!"

"Trust me when I say this but your graphic design betrays you," M.M. Link said. "I would hate to see what other guys that came from _your_ game."

"Hey, is that the new exotic dancer Telma hired?" Zant asked, pointing at Ghirahim who just entered the bar.

"Oh god, I hope so," Vaati murmured.

Yes! The first of the foretold sequel to Zelda Mini Madness. I hope you enjoyed it! Once again, if any new readers don't know about Zelda Mini Madness I will mention this: These are not meant to be long, that they are supposed to be humorous short pieces of writing. I am always looking for new ideas so if you have any feel free to share.

I do have one question for you who have read Zelda Mini Madness. Did you enjoy the 'home' of the characters or would you prefer the 'skits' to be in actual places of the games? Or do you think I should just do both like I did before?

-Quin


	2. The Equipment of Our Heroes

Fairy Bow

T.P. Link: Could that name be any more feminine?

O.o.T. Link: There's nothing wrong with my bow!

T.P. Link: Despite the fact that it was decided that the name was so ridiculous they changed it in later games?

W.W. Link: Yeah, the Hero's Bow is badass!

T.P. Link: Just you talking about my bow makes its credibility go down.

M.M. Link: _Your_ bow?

Biggoron's Sword

T.P. Link: So we move from the girly named bow to the giant sword.

O.o.S Link: Hey! I use that sword, too! And so does Oracle of Ages Link!

T.P. Link: You're not even helping.

O.o.T. Link: I'm beginning to understand why he hated you so much.

M.M. Link: Who?

O.o.T. Link: No one!

Lens of Truth

T.P. Link: Let me see that! -Slowly turns and looks towards Skywarf Sword Link-

O.o.T. Link: I would be careful where you point that.

T.P. Link: GAEONEOGNEOGNJVNEIVNIUVHDUIHUEIRNGEK -Falls over-

M.M. Link: Oh god! What did you see?!

T.P. Link: It was so awful! It should not be spoken of!

S.S. Link blushed as everyone looked in _his_ direction.

Tingle Tuner

M.M. Link: Ok, what the hell is this?

W.W. Link: I don't know! I just found it in my bag one day.

M.M. Link: And you haven't gotten rid of it?!

W.W. Link: I have tried! Whenever I throw it away it always showed back up in my bag! IT FOLLOWS ME!

Gust Jar

O.o.T. Link: Why?

M.C. Link: Why what?

O.o.T. Link: It's a jar, that sucks things up.

M.C. Link: It can also blow stuff away!

M.M. Link burst in laughter and fell out of his chair.

Cane of Pacci

M.C. Link: Watch this. -Points the golden cane at the audience and starts flipping over women-

O.o.T. Link: I think I misjudged you.

M.M. Link: Can I have that for Christmas?

Fishing Rod

T.P. Link: Guys, check this out. -Turns towards the camera and starts swinging around the fishing rod-

O.o.T. Link: What are you doing?

T.P. Link: Somewhere out there Twilight Princess Ganondorf can not look away from the tv.

W.W. Link: That's no honorable way of defeating your enemy!

T.P. Link: I really don't care.

Horse Call

O.o.T. Link: Wow, that is really stupid. Who gave you that?!

T.P. Link: I don't want to talk about it. It was enough that I had to go through so much crap, and at the end _this_ was my only reward!

M.M. Link: What a waste of inventory space.

W.W. Link: Don't even talk.

Spinner

W.W. Link: Ok, it looks cool. What does it do?

T.P. Link: It...um...travels along rails... It can also go across sand...for about ten seconds before stopping.

W.W. Link: Huh, so you really only use it for two dungeons, maybe to find a few heart pieces, then it's a complete waste?

T.P. Link: Yeah, pretty much. Well, at least the boss fight using it was awesome.

Whip

S.S. Link: Hey guys! Do you like my whip?

T.P. Link: Oh god, it just gets worse.

S.T. Link: I have one, too!

W.W. Link: Oh congratulations Skyward Sword Link, you get to be in the same lame category as the guy who rides trains!


	3. Moving Back In

"Nice of you guys to move back in."

"Thanks! We're glad to be back," O.o.T. Zelda replied with a cheerful smile.

"I was being sarcastic! Get the hell out!" the Author shouted. She was lounging on one of the rocking chairs in the living room, glaring at the characters who were all gradually moving back into the house.

"Did anyone touch my room while I was gone?" Dark Link asked.

"You mean _our_ room?" Ghirahim corrected with a blissfull smile, putting a hand on Dark Link's shoulder.

"I told you to stay away from me!" Dark Link snapped, slapping the demon's hand off of him.

"Like we need to give fan girls more reasons to write more yaoi," Midna said, entering the room. "Hey Quin, I saw the...'grave' out back. How did Rocky die?"

"Somebody put bombs into his foodbowl," she replied. Majora's Mask Link, who was about to walk into the room, quickly turned around and left as soon as he understood what the conversation was about. "I'm still trying to figure out who did it."

"Well, what a lovely home." The original Ocarina of Time Link stepped into the house, carrying a rather large bag.

"Oh gross! What's that smell?" O.o.T. Zelda said, putting a hand over her mouth and nose. She looked suspiciously at the bag that O.o.T. Link was holding. "What's in there?"

"Nothing that a princess should be concerned about!" He snapped at her.

Midna grinned. "Hey, if you need a place to put that 'luggage' I know a few spots."

"I don't know what you're talking about!" O.o.T. Link responded, quickly retreating up the stairs.

"Um, where can I stay?" Skyward Sword Link asked, slowly walking into view. "Are there spare rooms?"

"You can share a room with me!" O.o.T. Zelda offered happily.

"A girl sharing a room with a boy? How naughty," Midna said with an even larger grin.

"Wait... I'm confused." The princess looked closely at S.S. Link, who just decided to leave for the upper floors.

"I know where I want to stay!" Ghirahim mentioned out of nowhere, still lurking closely behind Dark Link.

"Somebody just kill me," Dark Link whispered under his breath.

"You want to know what my weakness is?" Ghirahim said. "It's the _whip_."


	4. Link's Companions

What did you think of Link when you first me him?

Ciela: Oh, I thought he was the strong silent type, since he's a descendant of these legendary heroes. Turns out he only had three hearts when I met him, so he was at least quiet.

Ezlo: What a stupid child! Never bathed either. You know he slaughtered hundreds of Picori when he was trying to find rupees in tall grass?

King of Red Lions: Well, just between you and me, he was pretty gullible. I mean, after he rescued his sister I still managed to convince him to defeat Ganondorf. He could have just went back to his island! Literally!

Midna: I hated him. I wanted him to die.

Navi: Lazy bastard.

Tatl: I guess he wasn't that bad. Seemed pretty weak, I mean he fainted after getting bucked off from his horse.

How did your adventure with Link go in your opinion?

Ciela: It went fine. The only problem was we HAD TO CONSTANTLY GO BACK TO THE OCEAN TEMPLE.

Ezlo: Well, it ended, which was nice. Being a piece of clothing sucks, but apparently _his_ only goal was to free Princess Zelda from being a statue.

King of Red Lions: It was all right, until we had to find the freaking pieces of the Triforce!

Midna: He didn't die, so it went horribly.

Navi: He didn't listen well.

Tatl: Going back in time three days tends to get dull after a while, but I think it was odd how he started acting after so many 'cycles' we went through. Kept on getting twitchy about the moon. I mean, the moon has to look the same where we came from, right? Why would he be so shocked?

Do you know what Link thought of you during your journey?

Ciela: Well, he was constantly following me, so he probably liked my company.

Ezlo: How would I know?! I was on top of his head the entire time! He seemed ungrateful to me!

King of Red Lions: He seemed to trust me completely, even though I'm a boat. Once again, he was incredibly gullible.

Midna: I don't think he realised I wanted him to die.

Navi: He was always ignoring me! Makes me feel like I should have yelled at him more.

Tatl: He seemed sincere, even though I was always mean to him. Makes me wonder what other kind of fairy he had to put up with.

Would you go on another adventure with Link if you could?

Ciela: I really wouldn't mind! It would be fun, just as long as I don't have to lose my memories again.

Ezlo: No! He needs to stay away from me!

King of Red Lions: Being his boat sucks. Why would I offer to travel all over the ocean again?

Midna: Maybe if he died at the end.

Navi: I left for a reason.

Tatl: I think I've had enough time traveling that will last me forever, so no.


	5. The Missing Tingle

Twilight Princess Link and Ocarina of Time Link both sat down beside on another at a metal table in a small room. Across from the two heroes sat the Author, who had her arms folded and her head slightly lowered to shield her eyes from the bright light above their heads.

"Do you know why you were called here?" T.P. Link asked.

"Something about a middle-aged man with an obsession with green clothes and fairies," she responded.

"So you do know Tingle," T.P. Link said.

"Well, no shit!" She snapped at him.

"Tingle has been missing for the past few months. We were wondering if you had any idea where he was," O.o.T. Link said, leaning forward with his arm on the table.

"Sorry, looking after deranged older men with wierd fetishes isn't under my contract," the Author sneered.

"Then can you explain what this is?" O.o.T. Link threw a piece of paper onto the table, the title read in large letters 'TINGLE HUNT!' at the top of the sheet.

"It's an old mini." The Author glanced at the paper, reading over a few lines before looking back up. "It seemed pretty well liked at the time."

"Considering that you actually scared two readers?" T.P. Link said, pulling up another sheet of paper from nowhere. "This one was from Sheograph, saying 'The moment I read that "behind you" part I gasped and whirled around. You are so evil!'"

"I don't think Sheograph meant it that way."

"Or did he?!" T.P. Link shouted dramatically, slamming his free hand onto the table. The Author only stared at him with raised eyebrows. He continued, "This second statement was from a Jane O'Callaghan, saying 'Level three freaked me out.' You scarred these poor people, using Tingle as a tool for entertainment!"

"I doubt I 'scarred' anyone," the Author said, trying to hide her smile. "Besides, everything concerning Tingle just writes itself, so yes it does make for good entertainment. But to answer your first question, I do not know where he is."

"Do you know anyone who would" O.o.T. Link asked.

"Majora's Mask Link. He lived with Tingle for a year," she responded.

"So, Majora's Mask Link, if that is your real name," T.P. Link said, leaning as far as he could manage over the table," I bet you know why you're here!"

"Is it about me trying to get into Telma's bar?" the young hero asked. "I promsied Telma I would throw away the fake I.D. and never try to go in her bar again!"

"Where did you get a fake identification card?" O.o.T. Link asked, mainly out of curiousity.

"Well, I actually just stole yours. Technically we are the same person!" M.M. Link said.

"NONE OF THIS MATTERS!" T.P. Link yelled. "Tell us the whereabouts of Tingle!"

Majora's Mask Link froze, his eyes round with fear, and his lower lip trembled. It was as if memories of forgotten trauma had slammed back into his head just from the mentioning of Tingle. "Wh-wh-what?"

"The man has been missing for quite some time. We were informed that you had lived with him for a period of time," O.o.T. Link explained.

"Where did you hide the body?!" T.P. Link hissed, staring at the younger hero with narrowed eyes.

"I-I-I h-haven't s-s-s-seen him in a l-long time," M.M. Link stuttered.

"Can you at least tell us who would?" O.o.T. Link said, pulling Twilight Princess Link's hair back so he would stop scaring the young hero.

"Um, I remember Navi and..._him_ were forced to fight each other. She might know."

"Hey, why was I brought here?!" Navi said angrily, standing on the table looking up at the two heroes.

"We're looking for Tingle, you stupid fairy!" T.P. Link yelled back at her. "We know you fought against him! No where did you hide his body after the fight?!"

"Listen, I lost that fight, you moron!" Navi spat in Twilight Princess Link's face when he got close enough to her.

"So this was a waste of time," O.o.T. Link said sighing. "Do you have any idea who could tell us where Tingle is?"

"Listen, I would suggest talking to Midna. If there's a missing person there is an eighty percent chance it's because of her," Navi said.

"Who's missing now?" Midna asked with a bored expression.

"So you do know that Tingle is missing! Confess, Twili!" T.P. Link said, his green hat now replaced by a stereotypical 'detective brown hat.'

"We are searching for Tingle, who was reported missing." O.o.T. Link pulled T.P. Link back away from the table again. He attempted to take off the brown hat but Twilight Princess Link slapped his hand away.

"Who would bother reporting Tingle missing?" Midna asked.

"One of the other Tingles, a Minish Cap Tingle I think."

"Now where did you hide the body?!" Twilight Princess Link was now holding a small pipe in his left hand, waving it in front of Midna's face as he spoke.

"Did you guys even play 'Tingle Hunt'? Most likely the Tingle that's missing is still stapled to the floor in a fan's house," Midna explained, ignoring Twilight Princess Link as he puffed some smoke in her face.

"Ah-ha! You admit to the crime!" T.P. Link declared. "I shall begin reading your rights."

"Shouldn't you guys have done that before the interrogation?" she asked.

"We really only took this job for the rupees. Well, _one_ is doing it for the money, the other is doing it because he thought it sounded cool," O.o.T. Link said.

"You have the right to have everything used against you, if you can't pay for a lawyer you will be automatically be known as guilty, and there is a possibility we will go search your home without permission." Twilight Princess Link was flipping through several pages of paper as he read.

"Not even any of that is partially accurate," Midna said.

"He recently started watching Law and Order," O.o.T. Link explained.

"Quick! To the batcave!" T.P. Link leaped out of his seat, heading for the door. He was now suddely wearing a black cape draped over his shoulders.

"And he watched the recent Batman movie."


End file.
